Warning! Public Service Announcement

I want to draw this important public service announcement to your attention:

WARNING! Is Bill Gates implanting microchips in your Impossible Burgers?!?!?!?! Inquiring minds demand to know! See article below:

American news anchor claims plant-based meat contains Bill Gates microchips!

But there is also good news. Because I am full-service Reverend, I have researched this and discovered that we can use the exact same microchip scanners that we use to scan our companion animals for microchips to scan our plant-based meat for Bill Gates microchips! I know this is true because I read it on the Internet!

So, all you have to do is go to Amazon.com and put "microchip scanners" into the search bar. You will see a variety of scanners to choose from, available in different colors and styles to fit your wardrobe choices.

And, then when you go out to dinner, you can pull your scanner out and scan your plant-based meat for Bill Gates microchips just like you might scan your companion animal.

This was a public service announcement from the Compassion Consortium

Be safe, be secure, be vigilant.

Rev. William